


I'm Overwhelmed and Insecure

by butimalsonothappy



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Cyrus just needs a hug, Fluff, Leslie is the cool mom in the story, M/M, Oh also, a parallel or two maybe.., i used 'Green' in this, im a mendes fan if you couldn't tell, no angst what so ever, overwhelmed!cyrus, somewhat could be read as a song fic for 'In My Blood', supportive!TJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 19:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20069023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butimalsonothappy/pseuds/butimalsonothappy
Summary: "Cyrus had a lot on his mind, so in his defense, he had a reason to be pacing around his room, hyperventilating on the verge of tears for the fourth time that day. He had woke up with too many things on his mind, from his feelings for his friend to needing to come out to his parents and not being sure how to."or Cyrus is overwhelmed and TJ tries to help him calm down.





	I'm Overwhelmed and Insecure

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously I need to stop using Shawn Mendes songs to write fanfics but am i going to? nope. enjoy. (title is a line from 'In My Blood' )

“Cyrus! Breathe, it’s going to be okay. I’m here for you.” TJ tried to calm down his friend.

Cyrus had a lot on his mind, so in his defense, he had a reason to be pacing around his room, hyperventilating on the verge of tears for the fourth time that day. He had woke up with too many things on his mind, from his feelings for his friend to needing to come out to his parents and not being sure how to.

TJ had showed up at Cyrus’ house uninvited, but at the right time somehow. Cyrus’s parents hadn’t known what Cyrus was doing so they had just sent TJ up the stairs to their sons’ room. Cyrus had been crying as he paced around the open area of his room and had started hyperventilating when he saw TJ of all people walk into his room. Though he hated anyone, especially TJ, seeing him like this, he knew he had to listen to TJ and breathe.

TJ reached out and grabbed his hand stopping him from pacing. He pulled him back onto the bed with him and they sat on the edge. Cyrus started crying again, not caring if TJ thought he looked like a baby, he was too overwhelmed to care at this point.

“Cyrus? Are you okay?” TJ rubbed Cyrus’ back in an attempt to calm the other boy down. He was literally crying hard enough that he couldn’t breathe.

“It’s too much, Teej.” Cyrus started after a minute, as his breathing and crying slowed. TJ waited for the boy to continue, not wanting to rush him, “I can’t think straight and haven’t been able to for awhile and it all just hit me all at once today so I got really overwhelmed and I couldn’t breathe and I kept crying and I didn’t know what to do.” Cyrus finished in one breath as he sighed in relief, having gotten all of that off his chest.

TJ was stunned for a moment. He’d always thought that having four therapist parents meant that you always had you problems sorted out, but apparently not, “Cyrus,” he took a deep breath, ready to try to comfort the boy, “I’m here for you when you need to talk and you know that I hope. So are Buffy, Andi, and even Jonah could probably help if you really needed him to.” He paused when he heard his friend giggle for the first time since he’d gotten there, “So right now, if you want to talk, go for it, I’m all ears.”

Cyrus weighed his decisions, either spill his guts to his friend or keep it bottled up until something like this happens again. He decided on telling TJ everything he could, but not today, maybe tomorrow, for sure tomorrow, “Teej, I’m not ready to talk today, maybe tomorrow after school? Scratch that actually, school is going to overwhelm me even more, so before school?”

“Sure, Underdog. Anything that will de-stress you.” 

“I don’t mean to be mean or anything but I need you to leave and we can talk before school. Sorry, I have something to do.” Cyrus tried not to sound too rude about it but he did have something to do so it technically wasn’t a lie.

“Got it, Underdog. See you later.” TJ patted Cyrus on the back one last time before he walked out of the room.

Cyrus walked over to his bedroom window to watch TJ walk out his front door and down the street, only to turn back and look at his house again. He smiled but it immediately faded when he realized what he was about to do. 

He was about to come out to his parents, that’s why he had made TJ leave, he didn’t want TJ around to do it. He made himself a promise that he would call TJ right after if it went well and he didn’t end up crying. He knew his parents would support him but he couldn’t help but be nervous. He knew that if he didn’t do it today that he wouldn’t do it at all. He looked at the picture in the photo frame on his nightstand of him and TJ at the kids’ gym TJ worked at. He had just nailed a somersault and TJ wanted a picture to remember the moment. It gave him some sense of comfort and relief that he didn’t really understand. He knew he liked TJ, but he didn’t realize that looking at a picture of him could calm him down like that.

So he decided that he could tell his parents right before he left for school in the morning that way he had one less thing to tell TJ when they talked. It’s not like he had planned to tell TJ that part anyway, he had planned on that being the one thing that he didn’t spill his guts about.

He texted the GHC group chat good night and then proceeded to text TJ good night.

**Me: ** Night teej

**Me: ** also tomorrow so we can talk meet me in the science lab

**Teej <3 : ** got it!

**Me: ** good night!

**Teej <3 : ** good night underdog

He smiled to himself as he plugged his phone into the charger, sitting it in front of the photo of him and TJ. He climbed into bed hit with immediate comfort, relief, and anxiousness for the next morning all at once. He fell asleep pretty quickly despite the pit in his stomach.

*

Cyrus woke up to the sound of his alarm song, Green, blasting through his room. 

‘ _ You looked so good in green, I hope you’re well’  _ he slid the ‘dismiss’ button before the song could play too far. He had set his alarm about ten minutes earlier that morning, 6:05 (six o five) instead of 6:15 (six fifteen), that way he had some extra time to talk to his parents. 

He decided that it would probably be best to get ready before he talked to his parents. He walked over to his closet to end up grabbing a button-up like the shirts he always wore, a dark blue. He threw on some pants and tried to walk quietly over to the bathroom next door to make sure his parents didn’t know that he was awake just yet. He wanted to make sure that his appearance was unexpected but still normal. He got himself ready in there, skipping a shower to go unheard, he’d get one later, and quietly walked back across the hallway to his room. 

He took a deep breath trying to prepare himself for what he was about to do. He decided to just walk downstairs, go into the kitchen, and tell his mom and Todd. He remembered Todd had said the night before that he had to leave at six a.m. for something for work.  _ Looks like I’m just telling Mom today, whatever.  _

“Hey, Mom.” He walked over to his mom who was leaning on the kitchen counter reading a newspaper. 

“Hey, Sweetie. Breakfast?” she offered, looking up from the newspaper long enough to see the confused look on her son’s face, “Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah! Me, Cyrus Goodman? Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I?”  _ Smooth, Cyrus, smooth.  _ His mother’s words had snapped him out of his thoughtful state where he was considering whether or not he should do this or not, causing him to panic a little. 

“I don’t know. But you do look awful jumpy right now, considering the fact that when I walked upstairs last night and opened your door at 8:30 (eight thirty) you were already asleep. Are you sure something isn’t up?” his mother was trying to bribe him into talking, so he did. 

“Okay, Mom, there’s something I need to tell you.” he paused to look at his mom, afraid she might already know where this was going, “So do you remember Iris? The girl from Andi’s party?”

“Of course! She was a sweetheart!”

He cringed remembering how nice Iris was and how they  _ should _ have been perfect for each other if he was normal. “Well to be honest, I never actually liked her, I only thought I did. To be honest, I never liked any girl.” he looked away from his mother’s eyes in fear of what he would see in response to what he’d said. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes though he desperately didn’t want to cry. 

“Aw, sweetie! If you had told me sooner than I wouldn’t have invited her over for dinner so many times!”

Leave it to his mom to try to make any situation better with a joke. He rolled his eyes playfully at her bad joke and hugged her. 

“Thanks for trusting me, sweetie. Was I the first one to know?”

Cyrus pulled back from the hug and wiped his eyes before starting, “Not really. Sorry. I told Buffy first. Then, Andi. Then, Jonah. And now you.”

“Aw, Cyrus, don’t be sorry. It’s just good to know that you have supportive and caring friends. I love you, I always will.” his mom pulled him into another hug, shorter but still welcome. 

“Yeah, they’re pretty amazing. Love you, too, Mom.”

“So now that I know, anyone you have your eyes on?” his mom tried to get him to tell her about any crush he might have had. 

“Well…” Cyrus started when he saw his mom get really giddy over the sentence, “There is someone. But, I don’t think anything’s going to happen with it so don’t say anything.” Cyrus made his mom pinky promise not to tell anyone about this crush. 

“Got it! Won’t tell, just tell me!”

“So, you know them…” he tried to get his mother to guess because he didn’t just want to blurt it out.

“Is it that Jonah Beck-”

“No, Mom! I mean, I used to like him, he was the reason I realized I was gay, but I’m over him.” Cyrus cut his mom off before she had him going back down the rabbit hole that was Jonah Beck. 

“I have one more guess then.” his mother walked over the fridge and got out the cream cheese for the bagel she had just made. 

“And that guess is?” Cyrus finished as he questioned why his mom had only said that and didn’t bother saying who.

“It’s that TJ kid, isn’t it?”

“Uh, yeah. How’d you know?” he asked blushing bright red. 

“Sweetie, you talk about him all the time, not in very much of a platonic way if I might add. Not to mention, when he came over last night he might have the biggest smile on his face, the same smile I see from all my patients when they talk about people they like. Putting those things together, I think it was kind of easy to figure out.” His mom noticed how big her son’s smile had gotten as he had put his red face down most likely in embarrassment. 

“Well then. I have to go! Bye! See you after school. I’m heading over to somewhere out of this kitchen!” Cyrus hurried out of the kitchen, up to his bedroom for his phone and book bag, and left through the front door quickly. 

He remembered his deal with TJ, and since he had quite awhile until school obviously, he texted him. 

**Me: ** hey

**Teej <3 : ** hey

**Me: ** meet me outside of the gym as soon as you can thanks :)

**Teej <3 : ** i thought we were talking before school. Not like forever before

**Me: ** just do it, my mom embarrassed me so im already here

**Teej <3 : ** fine see ya :)

**Me: ** see ya :)

He decided to just scroll through Pinterest, his go-to over Instagram like a normal teenager, until TJ showed up. That’s one of the many things that he found different about himself, aside from the obvious. Buffy can tell him that he is ‘no different’ all she wants but he isn’t gonna listen. 

“Penny for your thoughts, Underdog?” he was snapped out of his self-deprecating mindset as he locked eyes with the basketball player. 

“I know I said that I was going to tell you what was wrong last night today and that’s what I’m planning to do so just give me a minute.” Cyrus needed to collect his breath and thoughts before he could spill his guts to the other boy. 

“Whatever it takes, Underdog.” TJ pulled the chair out and sat at the table across from Cyrus.

“So, I was really overwhelmed as you saw,” he cringed as he said ‘saw’, “And now I’m going to tell you why exactly. There was a lot on my mind, none of which too, I guess, positive, so everything came crashing down on me at once. This is going to be a rant, so get ready.” Cyrus raised his eyebrow at the other boy as if expecting him to get up and leave, but he didn’t. 

“Yeah, I know you were overwhelmed. I’m used to your rants Underdog, I’m fine.”

“Okay, here we go then. So, one thing that was and still is on my mind is that I have a chem test first period and I didn’t get to cram study yesterday because there was too much going on with me all day yesterday. Also, I get back a history test today, that I’m pretty sure I did really bad on, and my history grade is barely passing at the moment.” Cyrus paused to make sure he wasn’t getting too annoying, and to take a breath, “And there was something else bugging me, but I got that covered this morning. And there’s one more thing but I don’t know if I can yet. Sorry.” he exhaled a breath he didn’t know he had been holding that long. 

“Wow. I can help you cram study right now if you want?” TJ stopped when he saw Cyrus nod at his offer, “And, I’m sure with all the study sessions we’ve been doing that you’ll have a fine grade on this test. And don’t worry about the last thing, tell me when you’re ready, I don’t want to be a reason that you’re overwhelmed.”

_ But you are the last reason,  _ his mind was screaming at him to tell the boy. 

TJ got up and started to walk away after patting Cyrus’ shoulder. 

“Teej! Wait!” Cyrus knew this was a bad idea, but he was going to have a panic attack if he didn’t from being too overwhelmed. 

TJ turned around as soon as Cyrus’ hand latched around his wrist, “What?”

“I need to tell you now because you kind of are one of the reasons I was overwhelmed.” he said the last part very quietly, almost inaudibly. 

“Oh.” TJ sat back down at the table, looking at the other boy as if to tell him to continue. 

“Promise you won’t hate me?”

“Cyrus, I could never hate you, nothing is going to change that.”

“Okay, so, I like someone and they’re really sweet and a really good person. And I kind of forgot to mention that they’re a guy.” Cyrus looked away again, afraid of what he might find in TJ’s eyes, just like he had done with his mom. 

“Okay and why would I hate you for that?” TJ lifted up Cyrus’ head only to see that the smaller boy’s eyes were teary.

With his voice small he responded, “Because...it’s you.” he looked away again, ready for the rejection. 

Shocked as he was, all TJ could do was go over to the other side of the table and kneel in front of Cyrus, “I like you, too, Underdog, I always have.” he said this with the biggest, purest smile. 

“Really?”

“Yes, really, Muffin.” he took hold of Cyrus’ hand and intertwined their fingers, “And you’re stuck with me calling you Muffin now by the way.”

“I’m-wow.” Cyrus started laughing as he pulled TJ into a hug, “I’m okay with that because it’s you.” he whispered into his ears. 

He had never been more relieved in his life. After all the drama with his crush on Jonah, he was happy to have someone who reciprocated his feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are welcome because I will reply to all comments :) hope you enjoyed


End file.
